Dear Goddess,
This week has been amazing, I have spent so much time with Annie Cassie and Merry, and Cindy and Gary too. And I've been able to be a servant and show your light and love to the whole family. I've been able to show them that you can be morally strong, and have that inner peace even if you aren't a Traditional "christian". And I hope that helps them to stop worrying about me.
What I also hope is that the terrible blows we've been given this week come to an end. Gary had to stop Chemo because he was looking yellow, he went in for an ultra sound only to find that there was a thickening ( a mass we think) so today he went and got a pet scan and was told that the chemo has not been working that the tumors are growing and that he has to try a new drug on monday.
I'm crushed, absolutely crushed. This is my moment of weakness, because I BELIEVE that he will get better, I know that he will, and therefore I have no fear of him dying.
as terrible as this situation is, it's just there to test our strength. So I'm believing that he will be healed. :)
Not to mention that this is day 53 and I spotted a little tiny bit. I need to go out in a few minutes and drop off my prescriptions to get my provera and clomid started. I want to get that started asap. so that that spotting turns into more, I need to clean out the uterus again. and then we will try again for those beautiful babies. :)
We will try again for that wonderful family.
I want to be able to show my whole family my babies! :)
I will upload all of our pictures probably on sunday and you will get to see some of them then :) The rest will be on my facebook lol.
The beach has been amazing, the trip has been amazing, the drive was exhausting, bu soooooo worth it. As long and exhausting as the drive was, I'm stoked to go home and see my hubby!!!!
He's such an amazing man, and seeing his smile will make all the driving totally worth it. :)
will write more about my blog when I get home, just assuring you all that I"m alive. MWAH!
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