Hey yall it's been a week, sorry for the not so frequent posting...
So basically I'm well. I AM WELL DAMNIT. Regardless of my emotardedness that has hit me hard core today.
I miss my kids yall, the ones I've lost. I know I am blessed, too blessed to stress, but I want my kids already. I know I have a plan too... but I want it done and overwith now. I want to be thina nd to just get the news! " You're pregnant, it's twins!" or something like that....
*Sigh*
Anyways, I'm emo, trying to get over it, it will happen.
Seriously yall I need wine, and possibly margaritas... and queso... Asking some friends who understand my pain ( And don't mind the outside world and people lol) to go to Baby A's with me, everyone is welcome, but it's going to be filled with cursing and drinking and fattening food and maybe not so much knitting...
Anyways, on to the important stuff!
I CONQUERED THE CIRCULAR NEEDLES!!!
lol then I promptly broke them.. *Sigh* w/e
Yall I'm not in the mood to post everything I'll try to upload pics later if sprint stops being such a fucking tard about my uploads and losing them all to the interwebs monster.
Hey Mikabelle! I just responded to your comment on my blog. Once again, the effort you've put forth...just WOW! Don't give in to those urges to sabotage your success...you've come too far! And once you have surgery, it does get easier....not without some struggles at first and just getting used to the new life change but to me, it just seems to be so much easier to lose the weight and when I do mess up now (I can't overeat but I can eat/drink the wrong things...and I have), it's so much easier to jump right back into the right way of doing things and the weight just seems to keep coming off....instead of gaining 5 lbs. just for looking at junk food. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI haven't read your whole story yet. In fact, I've only had the opportunity to read the last few post. I want to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. I have one child and I can't imagine life without him. And I don't tell many, but we have tried for another child for about the last 4 years and it has been disappointment after disappointment. We're still trying! I'll keep you in my prayers. I know the ache and anguish of longing for a child. It's heart wrenching!
Keep smiling and know that there are others out there that do care and understand what you are going through.
Thanks Penny <3 Sometimes the hormones get to you and it's all over! Not forever, just for that moment. Then you get some perspective and you are able to back away from the crazy.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your disappointments, I've lost 11 children now, and it's the most terrible feeling in the world. I hope that once I get my weight on track, and am healthy again, I won't have these problems,But I know for a fact that if I couldn't handle these problems, they wouldn't have been given to me. <3
I feel the same is true for you! You can do it, and I"m proud of you!
Hi Mikabelle! Oh, I'm so sorry. You took my breath away...11 children. I'm so sad! That just breaks my heart for you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteI mourn the children that I haven't been able to have and feel guilty sometimes because I have been so blessed with the one I do have...almost, as if I were complaining or something. I just can't image what you're going through.
After so many years trying, I thought I was being punished for something. I realize that's not the case and just maybe I was being told to get healthy first. I don't know. My heart goes out to you. I understand the longing for that child. I have the feeling though with our weight loss (yours and mine...and all the other many women in our same situation) that our bodies will become healthy and will be able to carry out a full pregnancy. Hang in there! I'm thinking about you and praying for you. Penny
Thank you Penny! I believe that too! Once I get my healthy back, and am able to nurture a child the right way, it will happen. That's what I have to believe.
ReplyDeleteI truly believe that you will get to have more children one day as well! <3 Keep on going girl you got this!!!