*sigh* it's not bad news, but we just don't know yet

So I went to the dr today, and he did an exam, he looked at my tummy, and felt it, and said that it feels like the fat there is thinner, which he says is a very good thing and a sign that the metformin is working!

then he did the whole speculum thing and said that it all looks good, he can't say for sure that I"m prgnant right now, but advised me to continue having intercourse and to come back in 5 weeks ( 6 weeks from the 10th) So I'll make an appointment some time this week for october 15th to see what we can see :)

He said that because of the length of time between my latest period and the one before that ( About 6 months without new blood) he was not at all surprised with the amount of blood, the length of the bleeding, or the amount of clotting that was passed, he said that my body had needed to get rid of that and that may have been why I was getting sick so often ( build up in toxins in teh tissue) and that I'm much healtheier looking now

He did the hand up the vajayjay thing while palpating my uterus from the outside and said that he was very happy to report that this time he could feel my fundus( top of the uterus) much easier than he had last time, and he thought that was an excellent sign again of the Metformin working correctly. so that's good

he talked to me about how my clothes were fitting, and I told him about how I went to go buy new pants and now they fall off of me, he was very happy to hear this, and said that even though the weight loss hasn't been as dramatic as he anticipated, what he was seeing with the thinning of the fat in my stomach and hips/thighs, he was very happy with the drugs performance.

I did tell him about my aversion to dairy while on metformin, and assured him that regardless of that I was still getting my calcium in through calcium enriched foods and juices, he was happy to hear that, as well as that I was getting all my fruits and veggies in via v8, he was totally grossed out by the omegrantie blueberry flavored tomato juice which I found amusing, ( Since I hate that flavor too) But intrigued that I really enjoyed the strawberry banana, and said that he would have to try that as well.

Anyways yeah, in 5 weeks I go back to the dr for another pelvic exam as well as a urine test :)

AND tonight at work I start working out in the gym on my lunch. ( Just walking ont he treadmill but YEAH!)

and TOMORROW Heather is going to start joining me three days a week :) I'm thinking that we will actually come in early for those sessions, and then the sessions that I I do on lunch will be mon-tuesday which are her days off. :)


So I'm really happy to have someone to work out with, who I can really really talk to.

YAY ALL THIS CRAP OFF OF MY CHEST WOOT!

wOw.....

so last night was Eugene's Saturday, and My sunday, this is our first off weekend together, though to be honest it was kinda nice :)

best part I think was that I got laid last night ( For hours) And you know it's usual for me to prgasm several times, but Eugene is one time and he's done... this time he orgasmed( in cluding ejaculation) Three times... it was so fantastic!! I've never seen him orgasm multiple times before, so as much as he wring me out, I wrung him out too!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol did my normal thing after sex with the pillow under the butt, woke up this morning and went to the bathroom only to find the marks of our fun on my neck WHOOPSIE! :P we um... yeah.. haha! so now I have a hickie which is hillarious.. :)

Anyways, my hair is a wild mess, and I"m kinda.. woozie in my feet and have a grumbly tummy, but I think that a long hot shower will fix that! :D WOOOT!


Dr's appointment tomorrow at 2pm, and I cannot freaking WAIT! YEAH!

nice poem

A Wee Bit of Heaven

A wee bit of heaven

Drifted down from above

A handful of happiness

A heart full of love

A mystery of life

So sacred and so sweet

The giver of joy

So deep and complete.

Precious and priceless

So lovable too

The world’s sweetest miracle

Baby, it’s you.

- By Helen Steiner Rice

Processed foods a no no? Spotting.. sorta?

So my tummy is making it abundantly clear that it hates processed foods, I can eat peaches, and bananas and apples and lettuce and some cheeses, but pizza, or tacobell, or anything like that at all and pretty much all dairy, is making me run for the bathroom... so sad ahh well


And as to the spotting thing that happened today, it wasn't spotting really, there was the slightest tinge of red, and I went back to investigate with a fresh piece of tp and got these weird little red specks, not sure what that was about, but ahh well :) Tuesday ( That's TWO DAYS!) is my dr's appointment, so I will just have to wait until then to figure it out! :D :D :D

Though I might mention that my breasts mainly my left one, have been aching for hours, like literally ACHING, not because I"m touching them, just aching for no reason at all, so I will bring that up in the appointment

Oh boy Oh Boy Oh Boy!! or will it be a girl? lol

Today Heather and I went to Babies R Us, and made our registries, and then Laura and I went to Target and made our registries... :)
http://www.target.com/registry/baby/34BG438I62E2X

That's mine for Target

and for Babies R US my registry number is Registry #: 46003300

So no we don't know anything for sure yet, and that's ok, we may not be pregnant at all, I wouldn't care, honestly, what's exciting for me, is that we have the ability to throw all of this out into the universe to begin with, it's good Karma to expect the best and then prepare for it, it lets the universe know that you truly are ready. When you expect the best but prepare for the worst you undermine everything you are hoping for!

Today's life lesson, do not expect/prepare for the worst, because then it will happen. ( That's not to say don't be a girl scout, I mean be prepared with oinments and bandages and a spare tire of course) But emotionally only prepare for good things, the bad things you shouldn't waste your life dwelling on.


Anyways, Thank you Laura, and Heather for spending a fantastical day with me :D


After Laura left tonight, I did a load of Laundry, a Load of Dishes, Vaccumed the living room, swept the kitchen, pulled the cushions off the couch and vacummed, in so doing found my Sons' MP3Player, which has been missing for 6 weeks ( Haha I hardly ever clean the couch) And my Tarot cards which had been missing for a week or two :)

I have the makings for a really yummy salad ready for tommorrow, and not I think it's time to write in my journal and get my ass to bed. :) Good night world!

inexplicably happy :)

Hey guys, I know my last posts have been kinda down in the dumps, you know with all the emotional ninjas and what not, but this emotional ninja can stay forever!!!

I sent Eugene and email at work last night, telling him that I was totally in the mood if he was, and he replied that we would see.. which usually means no... however I totally got woken up to the best sex I have ever had ( I know I say that alot, but it gets progressively better as time goes on :P)

it was amazing, and after wards, Eugene put the pillow under my butt ( that's the technique we use to make sure that the sperm get the optimum use out of gravity and gets to it's appointment like it's supposed to :P) for me.... he actually did it FOR ME... it was insane, and he told me not to move, or get up, and to just go to sleep , and that he loved me.... it was amazing.

So I woke up at about 12:45 with the wildest hair you could possibly imagine, and a goofy smile on my face... I can't seem to get it OFF my face and it's been 45 minutes! LOL

Having his support in this baby making Endeavor has made everything soooooooo much better, I can't even tell you, the sun is brighter, the clouds are more beautiful, the grass is greener, and the swaying in the grass is this side of heaven... hmmmmmmmmmm bursting with love and pride and appreciation makes the whole world seem better some how... :)


Dr's appointment on tuesday, Today is NOT thursday as I thought, it is actually friday! YIPEEEE! so that's exciting :D

and... I"m just happy... so freaking happy...

Really in 4 days I will find out if we are going to have a baby, and that is awesome in and of itself, but... well.. just today, this week.. this month really.. has been just what I thought it would be, Fall is bringing a season of JOY into my life, and I'm just trying to keep myself open for it! <3

How I'm feeling on cycle day 17....

I'm feeling incredibly nauseated, that's how I'm feeling, and I can't even blame this on the met formin, because the nausea always subsides by lunch and I take the met formin right at lunch. and within 20 minutes I"m sick to my stomach again, but that only lasts a few hours. It goes away in time for me to go home, work out, shower and get to bed, but it always comes back with a vengence in teh morning, I have to coach myself out of bed slowly, and get to the bathroom before I puke, if I'm able to puke, When I DO puke I feel GREAT the rest of the day, but sadly, I haven't been able to as often as I'd like ( Which sounds totally counter intuitive since no one should really WANT to puke, but it brings relief until I take the metformin again) So I have to deal with nausea more often than not.

Emotional Ninjas continue to creep up on me, not really anger so much as differeing wildly between insanely happy, and bursting into tears at the faint memory of having a child in my arms in a past life. ... I can remember it :) It's beautiful... Can't wait to have it again.

yeah it's weird, September took sooooooooooo long to get here and now it's almost over! I'm shocked! But that means that I'm that much closer to my dr's appointment about the pregnancy, I am still hoping that I am pregnant, but have decided that if I'm not, aside from the wild crying that we all know will ensue, I will be ok with waiting to try again next month. Maybe I"ll get lucky. maybe I won't. But I won't stop trying!! :D