So yall, you probably know by now that while I put up this big brave facade, I am squishy inside.
I was at work, and some people were complaining about " Scavengers" while frantically searching the cubicles around mine for something. So I was trying to be helpful and I asked them " Are you looking for the Clorox wipes" ( Because when ever I am bitching about scavengers at work, it's because they stole my damn wipes)
The guy turns to me and says " Yes... THAT'S what I was looking for, WIPES" Really sarcastically, so ... I figured well he's a dick, but ok, so I offer up my wipes. And he goes " No no I'm just being stupid I don't need your wipes"
and then he walks away muttering about me interfering in something or other...
YALL I WAS TRYING TO HELP!
The rest of the guys with him went on and on to him about how he's such a dick, and how "Dude she was just trying to help wtf is your problem"
Ok so I'm emotional, my dad died a few months ago, this is my first christmas without him, he always told us to be good to others, because we don't know what they are going through, and I just started thinking all of this stuff, and then the tears came and I couldn't stop them and I cried at my desk for like 30 minutes before my boss takes me into his office where I cry some more about how it's not right that people are so mean, they don't have to be, and it hurts, and all that stuff. Then I breathe, and I"m able to move on.
But it still hurts.
People shouldn't be that way to other people.
I go out of my way to be nice to strangers and coworkers. Because I DO NOT KNOW if they are hurting inside. I DO NOT KNOW if they have lost someone, or something, or whatever recently, because I do not know, I am polite, and uplifting and cheerful.
But today, I'm crying because not everyone is like that.
I am crying because my Daddy, who adopted me when I was FOURTEEN isn't here anymore to listen to me cry, and I'm crying because that person never had a Daddy like I did, to teach them how to treat another human being.
I need a lot of hugs today.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
on the topic of bullies
http://youtu.be/TdkNn3Ei-Lg
Jonah, I think you are amazing <3 So glad you have a million reasons to be here. I hope you can make it 2 million
Jonah, I think you are amazing <3 So glad you have a million reasons to be here. I hope you can make it 2 million
24 degrees outside...brrrrr!
So its 24 degrees outside, which is why I am inside with my puppy, playing wow and drinking wine ( I know I know calories, but sometimes a girl needs a glass of wine!)
I leveled my paladin up to 71 and am healing through the most boring dungeons, level 70-76 is all the same soooo dull.
In case yall are new here I play world of warcraft, I am also a game master at that company :) fun times
It was so cold when I got off of work this morning at 4 am I had to use a cd case to scrape off my Windows so that the defroster would work! Broke the case, and froze my right hand.
Most pain ever? My hands un numbing after waiting for the car to heat up... Omfg ow, I literally though " my fingers are about to explode off my hands, someone is shaving my fingers from the inside..."
Yep, it was that bad, then the joints started getting blood back and I thought my hand was going to just fall off from the wrist down.
Anywhoodles, just checking in, trying to get better with Blogging :).
And now for some pictures!
I leveled my paladin up to 71 and am healing through the most boring dungeons, level 70-76 is all the same soooo dull.
In case yall are new here I play world of warcraft, I am also a game master at that company :) fun times
It was so cold when I got off of work this morning at 4 am I had to use a cd case to scrape off my Windows so that the defroster would work! Broke the case, and froze my right hand.
Most pain ever? My hands un numbing after waiting for the car to heat up... Omfg ow, I literally though " my fingers are about to explode off my hands, someone is shaving my fingers from the inside..."
Yep, it was that bad, then the joints started getting blood back and I thought my hand was going to just fall off from the wrist down.
Anywhoodles, just checking in, trying to get better with Blogging :).
And now for some pictures!
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
a child's tears...
So I'm probably not alone, but seriously yall, when I see a child crying it wrecks me. I start crying too, and have to comfort them somehow.... This is why I worry that when I am blessed enough to have a child of my own, I won't be good enough to raise him or her...
But regardless of that fear, I think I can do well enough.
For now, I'm going to blame it on hormones, lol. Maybe one day they will even out!
But regardless of that fear, I think I can do well enough.
For now, I'm going to blame it on hormones, lol. Maybe one day they will even out!
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4
lots to catch up on, interwebz
So this last week has been a battle for me.
So many things happening around me and in my life... I needed to step back drink some wine and slap myself( having a glass now actually) out of that silly melancholia, depression is serious, and while you can't turn it off and .on at a moments notice, with time, and a strict regime, you can stave off the most debilitating parts of it.
So over the last week I have done everything possible to cheer myself up! And it worked :).
I got some wine. I went shopping and got pretty new clothes, and shoes. I grocery shopped and can make lots of Yummy food for the next two weeks. I got more yarn, and a circular knitting needle kit, with a bunch of sizes in it. I started a beautiful hat for myself. It's sock weight yarn, so it is taking forever (hooooours) over 12 hours have been put into it so far, and it is only half done haha! Tiny needles and tiny thread. I bought and began an embroidery kit and hoop ( in love with this new hobby!!) I Hung out with Andrea, Billy, Amanda, Kevin, Pam, Chris, Crispy and Eugene. Talked to my neighbor Heather. Put up my Christmas tree, bought Pam her birthday gift, and myself a copy of the collectors edition of Wicked.
I was out in the sunshine, I didn't sleep much, or well, but I am working on fixing that now :).
I will fill in details later, for now this is it, not even pictures!! Promise to edit this when I have time / am not sooooo tired.
Love you Blogging world, Happy Holidays, and be safe!
So many things happening around me and in my life... I needed to step back drink some wine and slap myself( having a glass now actually) out of that silly melancholia, depression is serious, and while you can't turn it off and .on at a moments notice, with time, and a strict regime, you can stave off the most debilitating parts of it.
So over the last week I have done everything possible to cheer myself up! And it worked :).
I got some wine. I went shopping and got pretty new clothes, and shoes. I grocery shopped and can make lots of Yummy food for the next two weeks. I got more yarn, and a circular knitting needle kit, with a bunch of sizes in it. I started a beautiful hat for myself. It's sock weight yarn, so it is taking forever (hooooours) over 12 hours have been put into it so far, and it is only half done haha! Tiny needles and tiny thread. I bought and began an embroidery kit and hoop ( in love with this new hobby!!) I Hung out with Andrea, Billy, Amanda, Kevin, Pam, Chris, Crispy and Eugene. Talked to my neighbor Heather. Put up my Christmas tree, bought Pam her birthday gift, and myself a copy of the collectors edition of Wicked.
I was out in the sunshine, I didn't sleep much, or well, but I am working on fixing that now :).
I will fill in details later, for now this is it, not even pictures!! Promise to edit this when I have time / am not sooooo tired.
Love you Blogging world, Happy Holidays, and be safe!
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
soooo much.... buzzing around.. in mah BRAINZ!!!
Hey yall it's been a week, sorry for the not so frequent posting...
So basically I'm well. I AM WELL DAMNIT. Regardless of my emotardedness that has hit me hard core today.
I miss my kids yall, the ones I've lost. I know I am blessed, too blessed to stress, but I want my kids already. I know I have a plan too... but I want it done and overwith now. I want to be thina nd to just get the news! " You're pregnant, it's twins!" or something like that....
*Sigh*
Anyways, I'm emo, trying to get over it, it will happen.
Seriously yall I need wine, and possibly margaritas... and queso... Asking some friends who understand my pain ( And don't mind the outside world and people lol) to go to Baby A's with me, everyone is welcome, but it's going to be filled with cursing and drinking and fattening food and maybe not so much knitting...
Anyways, on to the important stuff!
I CONQUERED THE CIRCULAR NEEDLES!!!
lol then I promptly broke them.. *Sigh* w/e
Yall I'm not in the mood to post everything I'll try to upload pics later if sprint stops being such a fucking tard about my uploads and losing them all to the interwebs monster.
So basically I'm well. I AM WELL DAMNIT. Regardless of my emotardedness that has hit me hard core today.
I miss my kids yall, the ones I've lost. I know I am blessed, too blessed to stress, but I want my kids already. I know I have a plan too... but I want it done and overwith now. I want to be thina nd to just get the news! " You're pregnant, it's twins!" or something like that....
*Sigh*
Anyways, I'm emo, trying to get over it, it will happen.
Seriously yall I need wine, and possibly margaritas... and queso... Asking some friends who understand my pain ( And don't mind the outside world and people lol) to go to Baby A's with me, everyone is welcome, but it's going to be filled with cursing and drinking and fattening food and maybe not so much knitting...
Anyways, on to the important stuff!
I CONQUERED THE CIRCULAR NEEDLES!!!
lol then I promptly broke them.. *Sigh* w/e
Yall I'm not in the mood to post everything I'll try to upload pics later if sprint stops being such a fucking tard about my uploads and losing them all to the interwebs monster.
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