Feeling a little depressed which is silly but meh

So I made the decision to put off having a baby.. I MADE THAT DECISION

But now that my friends are all finally having their babies, the babies they've been incubating for 9 months, I'm really feeling that two years stretch out in front of me.

I need to get my happy back.

So Tonight I"m stopping by walmart to get some oreos go home, watch saeason one of misfits, and then head to bed. I just don't know how to cope with these feelings inside of me.

I want a baby, and I want to be healthy for that baby, so the right thing to do is to get the surgery and heal up, lose the wright and get the corrective surgery for the skin, and THEN have a baby. I know that's what I SHOULD do....

And I know that's the right thing, and in the end I know that's what I WILL do..

But It's bitter sweet, because I want that baby in my arms now.