Heart break... divorce...

So... this is a rant... and a process and I am falling to pieces, and my heart is broken, and still somehow breaking more, and those bits are breaking even more.

Sunday 1/22/12 The day my life changed forever. We are just a month a way from our 4 month wedding anniversary.

it was about 2 am, and we were having lunch ( we work night shift) and things were going well. I asked him to make some extra shrimp Alfredo sauce, since he was making some for himself, and it smelled good, and he said fine,he would.

he brought it over for me to taste a few times, and it was good.

Then he started complaining about the dishes, and I told him I'd take care of them later, after he was out of the kitchen. He then started complaining about the general clutter in teh house, Well... yeah.. we both work 40 hours a week, our house is not going to be immaculate, you know?

So I told him I'd been working on it, and he knows I clean the house on sunday nights, when I'm home alone and he's at work, because then it's just easier, he's not in the way. and I can go at my own pace.

He started yelling at me. Which happens sometimes, he gets frustrated and it boils over, we usually have a fight, talk it out, make up and move on.

Not this time, he started yelling, and thenhe yelled more, and he just kept getitng more and more worked up, and he started calling me a liar, and just generally freaking out, He took my phone and threw it at the wall it didn't break, it came a part, and it's banged up pretty bad now, scratched up, the screen came loose. so that sparked another fight about how destructive he was.

He called me names, I called him names right back, and finally I said enough, We have got to stop this, this is not constructive, this is stupid. He was following me around the apartment cornering me in the kitchen, the bedroom, the living room, finally I sat down so he wouldn't be right in my face. he wouldn't let me alone, he kept pick pick picking at me. just wouldn't stop, so after about an hour and a half of this Ihad had enough and I said fine then, I'll just leave and come back when I've cooled off. He said he'd kill himself if I left, I said no you won't, that won't solve anything! I got up to leave, and he pushed me down, I was shocked, but just wanted to get out of there, so I got up to leave again, he pushed me down again, harder. it hurt.
I got up a third time grabbed my keys phone water bottle and purse and was headed out the door, because no way was I sticking around for that! He sat down in front of the door and wouldn't let me leave. I threatened to call the cops. we argued some more, and I was finally able to leave the house. I went to my car, he then called out to me " you forgot something! Take your dog or I'll kill her!" So of course I went back for my dog, then he got into the back seat, and stuck his leg through my door and the back door, so that I couldn't leave without harming him, which I was not willing to do.

I ignored him and went to turn the car on to maybe scare him into at least shutting the door, if he was going to come with me, we may as well come with me right? wrong, he turned and punched my dog in teh ribs three times. THREE TIMES he punched my dog.... I heard her sort of squeal and I freaked out he was hitting my DOG that's my baby! He was HITTING HER. I turned around and said you better fucking stop this right now you've just gone too fat, we are OVER, you won't ever touch my dog again. He flipped his shit. He reached up front and grabbed teh keys out of the ignition and then punched me in the face. right eye, swolled, minimal bruising, thank god. And I screamed, and got out of the car and started running away, he came after me. He tackled me to the ground and I got up and ran again and the process repeated itself over and over again my screaming at him to let me go, him refusing to do it, hurting me again and again and again, I called Crystal and she couldn't understand anythign I was hyper ventilating and could hardly breathe I was so panicked, he was hurting me. she called back and textedback trying to make sure I was ok but I'd dropped my phone and was running as much as I could to get away from him while he was grabbing and pulling and scratching me to keep me there. I made it nearly 2 blocks before the cops finally showed up, about 20 minutes of me trying to get away being thrown to the ground and hit, screaming at the top of my lungs for him to let me go... to just let me leave... he wouldn't do it.

The cops came, and he was put in jail, I will post the rest of the details later, reliving this is hard, I can only do so much at a time.

so I'm getting divorced. Bruised, sprained, heartbroken.. I'm so hurt my heart... it hurts