Thoughts about how to keep motivated

I'm thinking about getting a little calander for myself along with shiney star stickers, and each day I will give my self stickers for the following

Drinking all my water
Exercising
Eating the right amount of calories
Fully filling out my food and exercise diary.

So I have the option to get 4 stickers a day, and at the end of the pay period, if I have all four sticketrs EVERY day, I get some sort of treat, new socks, hair ribbon.. something like that...

What do you think?

that pic I just uploaded

So the first week of actively diet journaling is complete, and I did terribly... I was great up until the very end! *sigh* but it was a good experience, I now know the reason for my being over weight is a combination of binge eating and carbs! I eat far too many carve for my calorie intake. :(

Appointment is this friday!!! Yeah!

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week one complete!!

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day one diet journal

:) did good for a sickie!

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Here's the info I need to Vlog about tonight

In regards to what I need to do to get this sugery... I will explain each piece on my vlog :D

Coverage policy from Cigna:( As it applies to me personally, as in this is what I need to do/have to be covered)
Cigna covers Bariatric Surgery using a covered procedure outlined below as medically necesary

-A bmi greater than or equal to 40
-Failureof medical management including evidence of active participation within the last two years in a weight management program, that is supervised by either a phycisian, or a registered dietician for a minimum of 6 months without significant gaps. The weight - management program must include a monthly documentation of ALL of the following components:
*Weight
*Current Dietary Program
*Exercise Program
- A thorough multidisciplinary evalutation within the previous 12 months, which includes the following :
*An Evaluation by a bariatric surgeon recommending the surgical treatment including a description of the proposed porcedures, and all of the associated current CPT codes
*A seperate medical evaluation from a physician other than the surgeon recommending surgery, that includes a medical clearance for bariatric surgery
*Unequivacal clearance for bariatric surgery by a mental health provider
*a nutritional evaluation by a registered dietician or a physician

Feeling a little depressed which is silly but meh

So I made the decision to put off having a baby.. I MADE THAT DECISION

But now that my friends are all finally having their babies, the babies they've been incubating for 9 months, I'm really feeling that two years stretch out in front of me.

I need to get my happy back.

So Tonight I"m stopping by walmart to get some oreos go home, watch saeason one of misfits, and then head to bed. I just don't know how to cope with these feelings inside of me.

I want a baby, and I want to be healthy for that baby, so the right thing to do is to get the surgery and heal up, lose the wright and get the corrective surgery for the skin, and THEN have a baby. I know that's what I SHOULD do....

And I know that's the right thing, and in the end I know that's what I WILL do..

But It's bitter sweet, because I want that baby in my arms now.

Food and Exercise Diary Purchased.... I am so ready for this!

So Cigna ( My insurance) REquires me to go to my dr Monthly during a 6 month supervised diet, and get weighed and measured and show them my eating and exercise diary.... so I bought a great diary for it!

If any of you want to see my VLog you can head over there and look at my full body shot etc.

I've started Vlogging my journey as well. For now, because I don't actually HAVE any info from the dr it's just really generalized. And that's ok.\

I'll update this more later <3