Christmas with the family

So as you know, I started my holiday rather glumly. However with the help of friends and family, we made it much better. Losing the baby was so hard, but having friends and family who love me and understand, that really helped me through it.

So on Thursday, Eugene came home from fry's and tossed a bag on the couch, and said merry Christmas. Inside, was an alarm clock.... now its lovely , you know, has pretty sounds to help you sleep, but really? An alarm clock... for Christmas? I was pretty livid. Anyways, the next day he handed me money, and told me to go buy my Evo!!!!!! which I did, happily, intact, that's how I'm typing to you now! It's an amazing phone, I absolutely afore it!!!!!
Malachai got to go hunting, where he shot a 6 point buck, * jaw drops * that was his first shot, and he brought down a 6 point buck... at 14!!!!!! My son is so Damn talented! :o)

And Eugene got a new ps3 controller

It was a good Christmas materially speaking. nd emotionally, while it wasn't perfect, due to our loss, we were reminded of how much we do have to be so very very thankful for!!!

Happy holidays everyone!

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my plans for Christmas?

Getting piss drunk with Misty, we both had miscarriages recently, and we need this time to just... chill.

I bought 5 bottles of tequila, and Misty has Margarita mix, so by my reckoning, we are going to have alot of fun getting over our heartbreak.

Thanks Misty, for being there for me! <3

emergency dr appointment

Today I woke up to alot of blood, I mean alot, I went to the dr, who confirmed that I am still pregnant, but that the embryo did not seem to be healthy, and that I would probably lose it by christmas.

There's all I know about this for now.

bye

Worried

I seem to be cramping more and more and more lately, today is my 3 week mark, and I'm terrified, I have given up caffiene, went 5 days without it, but gave in and had some today, bad plan, the cramping and caffiene seem to be related. So no more for me.

I'm so freaking out, about losing this baby. Keep sending your positive thoughts please.

Pregnacny so far.... :)

What have I been experiencing so far?

Well At first the first night when we had sex, I was like.. I"m pregnant now, but the feeling soon faded, so I didn't thing about it again, until Eugene ASked me about a week later.. " Well are you pregnant or not" and i Was like.. I can't even know that yet! but after three days my curiosity as usual led me to take a pregnancy test, which came out Positive!! :)

It was POSITIVE! OMG!

So Elation, I was very very happy, as you can imagine.

and I felt pregnant, I think the news just made me a little more sensitve to my body, or my brains weird, whatever it was, I felt pregnant, but after a few days that feeling went away, and I was like... wtf?

So I just kept on keeping on, and then the nausea hit, and then the dizziness hit, and the weird stretchy soreness cramping hit, and I was like, YEP! Pregnant! :D Haha!

So now I'm having to pee alot, I have given up caffeine, and will try to drink mostly water ( Though I have decaf tea in my cup right now, but still it IS decaf!! :)) so that's good The lack of caffeine is making me whiny, and irritable and tired ( And it's only been a day!!!) But the Cramps have lessened, so I think that's a good sign, I'm pretty sure that Caffeine in pregnancy is moderated for a reason. I'll just figure out a way to get through it with water.... :)

I have been hungrier sooner, so I'll need to start bringing in snacks, like popcorn, and dried fruits, and pecans ( Banana Chips? YUM!) And maybe m&m's too.. :)

I have been exhausted, but unable to sleep when I get home, and barely able to keep my eyes awake while at work, it seems that my body has flip flopped it's schedule against my wishes... I actually slept THROUGH my damn alarm on thursday.

I have a funny little feeling in my pelvic area, kind of like a void is there or something, when I lay on my belly, I immediately have to move, when I wear jeans, my pelvis tightens up to the point where I have to literally FORCE it to relax, and trust me, thinking your pelvis into submission is not as easy as it sounds!

I've been tempted by so much food... but I've MOSTLY behaved, I can't exactly go hog wild, I have to be healthy, damn the season lol.

However I've been lucky in that I've not had to actually vomit more than a handful of times, just nausea alot.
And the spins just started today. I was sitting at my desk and I looked down into my purse and was rocked back with a dizzy spell.

Im so incredibly happy :)
I"m hoping and praying that I make it to term with this pregnancy and that Is all healthy, and has healthy bouncing baby as a result :)

Send me your positive happy thoughts!!!

Eugene is... not taking it as well as he should, he was a real jerk at first, and yesterday he picked a fight, but then he left a ntoe for me apologizing for it this morning... He's coming around slowly but surely.

Okies, I have to get back to work TTYL!

(2 of 2) the house for hugs and kisses! :)

(1 of 2) Eugene and I got to hang out this morning, the sleep deprivation I've been suffering made it so, I love it when he's in this mood. Chasing me around

Hugs and kisses!!!!

100th blog post O.O

So I'm pregnant :) I love saying that....

Anyways, it's not all that glamorous, I'm tired, I'm sick to my stomach, I'm crampy, my hair is limp, my skin is pale, I can't sleep when I need to, and I can barely stay awake when I am at work.

I need naps to get me through the days, I need extra sleep. It's really really hard on me right now.

I have been told that it will get better at month 3 or so, and I"m hoping that's the case! I'm so tired of being tired! O.O

I think I"m going to take a quick nap now... 20 minutes, even though I want 3 hours... 3 hours is a nap right? hahahahah

Have a beautiful day.

Guess what?

I got a positive pregnancy test :) I found out Thursday when I woke up. I was TRYING to be all quiet about it, but then some Drama happened, and I ended up telling everyone.

So I'm worried, because we have lost 9 pregnancies so far, what if we lose another?

*sigh* I am trying to not stress, just sleep enough, eat well, and hopefully have a healthy happy baby sometime in July.... :)

I really am the happiest woman on the planet right now. I've started my first unisex baby quilt( This is not all of it, this is just a portion I'd already taken a picture of, it's beautiful though IMO.) It's going to be double the width and 2 rows longer. So I think it will turn out rather perfect for a bed topper, you know?

It's surprising 1) how fast the time flies when I"m cutting and piecing and sewing

2) how much fabric I seem to go through, ( It's ALOT) the free fabric I got is just getting used up SO quickly!

and 3) How amazing it is to quilt :D I never thought I'd get into it, but DAMN I did, I'm in LOVE with this new hobby :D

I keep day dreaming about holding my baby, burping him or her, kissing their head... Burping them, loving them with my whole soul....

It brings me to tears every time I think of it. :)

I'm tired, and I have 28 more squares to cut before I can go to bed, so good night!

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