Just getting it all out on paper

Normal Months Bills
Rent 688
phone 76
electricity 220
trash 5
water 40
house gas30
car insurance 120
car gas 50
netflix - 7.99

1236.99

After the first month electricity will be much much lower, this months bill is that high thanks to a deposit etc.

I will be working a few hours of overtime every week, 4-8 hours a week will be plenty to help me sock some money away into savings. so that eventually I can have a nice nest egg. Right now, I'm terrified that I'm going to be broke and alone, you know? thsi situation has seriously screwed with my trust, but I'm confident that I can mange this on my own!! and I'm supposed to get a raise in a few months as well, soooo it will be all good. Eventually things will be good, for now I will just pay my bills, and do everything I can to not go under. I may have to put off my surgery if I have to pay anythign out of pocket, but even if i do, I will still get it done.

taking all donations!

life moves on... :)

It's been a week since the heart break. A very very very stressful, hard, diet unfriendly, painful, but productive week.

I have been staying with a friend, and went ahead and got my life started up again. I've been at work all week, but haven't really been sleeping much. so instead of sleep, I have been kicking it into high gear! i got a new apartment, in my price range, right near my job, so I can save a lot of money on gas, it has quite a few wonderful amenities, as it's a "Luxury Apartment" Thank GODDESS for my tax return, I was able to put the down payment on my new place, and get some new things.

my Friends and Family are going to help me move in to the new place over the month of February. Which is awesome, because I have a broken wrist, so I can't really do it myself.

Eugene and I have spoken a few times since this happened, but don't worry, I'm not going back to him, I'm going to stay in my new apartment, and we are going to get a divorce, I just have to do the paperwork and file it.

it's on the third floor, it's huge, and it has a garden tub :) Perfect environment for figuring out who I am. Perfect place to find the me i have never known.

I'm moving forward, and it's hard, but it's happening! I was shocked that I could still smile, and that I could still laugh, and joke... Just moving on.

here are some pictures.

Heart break... divorce...

So... this is a rant... and a process and I am falling to pieces, and my heart is broken, and still somehow breaking more, and those bits are breaking even more.

Sunday 1/22/12 The day my life changed forever. We are just a month a way from our 4 month wedding anniversary.

it was about 2 am, and we were having lunch ( we work night shift) and things were going well. I asked him to make some extra shrimp Alfredo sauce, since he was making some for himself, and it smelled good, and he said fine,he would.

he brought it over for me to taste a few times, and it was good.

Then he started complaining about the dishes, and I told him I'd take care of them later, after he was out of the kitchen. He then started complaining about the general clutter in teh house, Well... yeah.. we both work 40 hours a week, our house is not going to be immaculate, you know?

So I told him I'd been working on it, and he knows I clean the house on sunday nights, when I'm home alone and he's at work, because then it's just easier, he's not in the way. and I can go at my own pace.

He started yelling at me. Which happens sometimes, he gets frustrated and it boils over, we usually have a fight, talk it out, make up and move on.

Not this time, he started yelling, and thenhe yelled more, and he just kept getitng more and more worked up, and he started calling me a liar, and just generally freaking out, He took my phone and threw it at the wall it didn't break, it came a part, and it's banged up pretty bad now, scratched up, the screen came loose. so that sparked another fight about how destructive he was.

He called me names, I called him names right back, and finally I said enough, We have got to stop this, this is not constructive, this is stupid. He was following me around the apartment cornering me in the kitchen, the bedroom, the living room, finally I sat down so he wouldn't be right in my face. he wouldn't let me alone, he kept pick pick picking at me. just wouldn't stop, so after about an hour and a half of this Ihad had enough and I said fine then, I'll just leave and come back when I've cooled off. He said he'd kill himself if I left, I said no you won't, that won't solve anything! I got up to leave, and he pushed me down, I was shocked, but just wanted to get out of there, so I got up to leave again, he pushed me down again, harder. it hurt.
I got up a third time grabbed my keys phone water bottle and purse and was headed out the door, because no way was I sticking around for that! He sat down in front of the door and wouldn't let me leave. I threatened to call the cops. we argued some more, and I was finally able to leave the house. I went to my car, he then called out to me " you forgot something! Take your dog or I'll kill her!" So of course I went back for my dog, then he got into the back seat, and stuck his leg through my door and the back door, so that I couldn't leave without harming him, which I was not willing to do.

I ignored him and went to turn the car on to maybe scare him into at least shutting the door, if he was going to come with me, we may as well come with me right? wrong, he turned and punched my dog in teh ribs three times. THREE TIMES he punched my dog.... I heard her sort of squeal and I freaked out he was hitting my DOG that's my baby! He was HITTING HER. I turned around and said you better fucking stop this right now you've just gone too fat, we are OVER, you won't ever touch my dog again. He flipped his shit. He reached up front and grabbed teh keys out of the ignition and then punched me in the face. right eye, swolled, minimal bruising, thank god. And I screamed, and got out of the car and started running away, he came after me. He tackled me to the ground and I got up and ran again and the process repeated itself over and over again my screaming at him to let me go, him refusing to do it, hurting me again and again and again, I called Crystal and she couldn't understand anythign I was hyper ventilating and could hardly breathe I was so panicked, he was hurting me. she called back and textedback trying to make sure I was ok but I'd dropped my phone and was running as much as I could to get away from him while he was grabbing and pulling and scratching me to keep me there. I made it nearly 2 blocks before the cops finally showed up, about 20 minutes of me trying to get away being thrown to the ground and hit, screaming at the top of my lungs for him to let me go... to just let me leave... he wouldn't do it.

The cops came, and he was put in jail, I will post the rest of the details later, reliving this is hard, I can only do so much at a time.

so I'm getting divorced. Bruised, sprained, heartbroken.. I'm so hurt my heart... it hurts

Woah random AWESOME idea! ( Crafty!)

Christmas tree could be covered in homemade ornaments ( country christmas style) with everyone in your family's name embroidered on it, to make it a *Family Tree* Wouldn't that be neat?

todays work out... and food!

20 minutes on teh treadmill between 11 and 15 incline.. that's really really high, ( 15 is the highest on these machines) at 2.3-3.1 mph, that was awesome, then 3 sets of twelve on the thigh press at 55 pounds, 3 sets of twelve at 45 pounds on the rower thingy ( technical name) and 3 sets of twelve on the leg extender thingy ( I need the names of the machines) 12 reps of 10 pound weights on both arms, 26 weighted twisty lunges ( 4 pound ball) and now I think I'm going to die... I celebrated the bad assery with breakfast tacos for protein noms!

So for the past few days I've been subbing two meals a day with shakes, breakfast and dinner, well I worked out HARRRRD today, that was a lot of work in 45 minutes lol, I try to make sure my workouts are packed full of punch, that way I can do it for shorter time periods, with the same results! ( spoke with my Dietitian about this and she agrres, upping your incline means you can spend less time so long as you keep your target heartrate for at least 10-15 minutes) oh boy do I! Inclines .... I hate them so lol <3

Anywhoodles, I had those two DELICIOUS breakfast tacos, and STILL ended my day under calories before you add in exercise, and I didn't even add in all of my walking today!

I'm debating what sort of "fitness tracker" to get I KNOW for a fact I want to get a Heart Rate Monitor for myself, I'm just debating on getting that and the new Nike Fuel, or just dropping an extra 160 and getting the Motactv + HRM that comes with it( for 60-70 bucks extra of course) it would end up being like 310 for that stuff, plus my juicer... so about 500 bucks total, not sure if Motoactv is right for me, but holy crap it's got some cool gadgets on it, like a gps tracker and MP3 player, it even tracks what songs motivate you the most and puts them into a special play list... ( Can you tell which one I'm leaning towards? lol)

Anyways, Have a great day all!

Edit: I just called Motorloa to ask them just a few question about their product, and they didn't know it at all! They had me on hold for over 30 minutes, and they didn't even listen to me the first time or they wouldn't have had to put me on hold at all! As cool as their tech is, it's honestly not worth it for the HORRIBLE customer service I recieved :( I will not be buying one... however the Nike Fuel sounds like its right up my ally, and I can get a heart rate monitor + the Nike fuel for less than just the motoactv.... besides I already have an ipod, so I'll just stick with that! <3

Weigh in this morning!!

291.2!!!!!! Slowly but surely, kicking this weight in the keester! SO PROUD OF MYSELF and all of you out there doing the same thing! next week 180's!

It's not about a new years resolution really, I didn't really have one, I have goals sure, but goals are just words, what REALLY makes things happen is Action, I stopped talking about resolving and started just doing it... ACTION vs. TALK! <3

I choose Action!

YAY!!!!!!

So today I skipped the gym....wanna know why?

I tried on my workout pants and they wouldn't stay up! ( That's an accomplishment with lycra!)

I went to walmart and spent 31 bucks on three new sports bras 1 new shirt and 1 new pair of pants all a size smaller! I feel SO AMAZING because it seems, that even though I haven't been losing pounds, I've been losing inches and gaining muscle!!! so stoked! so I"ll wash it all tonight and get ready to go to the gym again tomorrow! *STOKED*

Also I think I have already stated this, but I need to go ahead and restate it.

I HAVE A GOAL!!!

Micro Goal: No sweets for the rest of the week

Macro goal: no sweets for the rest of the month

Long term goal: NO LONGER ALLOWING SWEETS AND CARBS TO RULE MY LIFE!

seriously, it's gone on long enough! I'm over it!... <3

See yall later I'm going to Vlog, and shower and get to sleep! <3

ti today

RA 16.5
LA 16.75
W@N 53
H 61
RT 29
LT 30
B 48

Total Inches lost since starting? 50... that's right FIFTY TOTAL INCHES LOST SINCE I BEGAN THIS TWO YEARS AGO! I'm proud! This was hard won!

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just thinking with my fingers

Started reading a new book called 4 hour body, it's amazing, conversational, the writer is truly charismatic, and I am going to try his techniques!

Trying to decide how to make Valentines for my team this year, thinking that I am going to get my embroidery machine up and running with hearts and happy vdays :)

Day 2 week one of eating only one meal a day, and I'm feeling great :) Going to try my GNC lean shake today and see if it's as bad as the reviews say, I'm hoping it's tastier than reviews tell me! since I have 5 containers ( All given to me for free!:D) I really like Slimfast, but I really do not like the price! I'm hopeful that mind over matter will work and I will be able to love it, because I need to love it, you know? and if I don't then I will print out a crap ton of coupons for slimfast and go shopping :) Not a huge deal!

I'm sleepy though, not a lack of energy sleepy, but that " I worked hard and could use a good nights sleep" sleepy, so I think I'll hit the sack.

This year I'm trying to blog more often, because I think it's a wonderful way to get my thoughts down and not forget them. Helps me sort through things, and hopefully, it will improve my writing. <3

~ Sarah

darn plans, never working out as intended lol

So I PLANNED to go to sleep as soon as I got home, but stayed up instead.

Ahh well luckily today at work is a slow day, an office party that gives us 2 hours and 25 minutes off of the queue, time that I can use to sllllllllllleeeeeeeeeppppppppp while my co workers watch the goonies :)

Hoppe everyone else has a blessed day! I'm going into day two of one meal a day and two meal replacement shakes ready and honestly not hungry :)

Just catching up

So lately I"ve been doing ahigh protein low calorie, low carb diet ( Life style change) And it seems to be working.

I went a week with no sweets, but broke down over the weekend, I need to make sure my family does NOT bring sweets into the house, it kills me, I have no control when it comes to chocolate.

Did my months worth of cooking, and am going to put it all into individual containers sometime this week. Right now I'm Exhausted, went to bed a bit later than intended so today I plan to go to sleep as soon as I get home.

Started replacing one meal a day with a meal replacement shake, by the end of the week I will only eat lunch, the other two meals will be shakes, on top of my protein powder intake.
I bought some of those slimfasts, but to be honest I'm not a huge fan, and a friend gave me FIVE cannisters of the GNC lean meal replacement shake powder, so I'll start using that soon. :)

Drinking lots of water still and making sure I get my 70-105 grams of protein a day. I'm doing well with that, My fitness pal helps a lot

to say that today has been tough would be an understatement, I'm exhausted, and not hungry, but feeling a bit off. hopefully that will get better as this new diet progresses :)

I got my engagement ring fixed this weekend

And I am so very happy to have my gorgeous ring back on my hand where it belongs!

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It's the time again! Cooking like crazy tonight!

So it's that time again, and I"m cooking like crazy to get our months worth of dunners cooked cooled, portioned and in the freezer! It's been a good weekend, very busy, but good. Got to spend time with Malachai, and that was nice.

Anyone else ready for a vacation? lol! I know I know the holidays are barely over! but seriously, a vacation sounds mighty good right about now. After my surgery, after I get to my goal weight, I plan to take a real vacation, til then I'll just teach myself how to eat properly, and how to live the life I want to live. :D

I know lots and lots of people make goals, and give themselves prizes for reaching those goals, I honestly work better if there's a carrot dangling in front of me :) So right now, my carrot is a vacation! ( long term) Next payday ( isn't is crazy how fast your paycheck dwindles?) I'm going to get a heart rate monitor, because I feel like I need one in the gym, to make sure I'm kicking it up to that next level! I'm still on 1200 calories a day, ( I succeed most days in keeping it there) but my weight loss has slown down and I THINK it's because my work outs in the gym aren't as powerful as they were when I started, because my body has gotten used to it.

Anyways, on the stove now is a huge ( I mean huge) pot of tomato sauce, from scratch, with 6 mushrooms, a head of garlic, italian herbs and spices ( Dried, I'm too lazy to garden) and cracked pepper. It also has the meatless ground in it to go ahead and start the full flavored sauce process, i usually let my sauce simmer for 15 minutes at a time, then I stir it up and give it a taste, see how I like it. :)

oh! This week I start my meal replacement shakes, starting with one meal a day, which for me I"m not sure what that will be yet, we have to see, but by the end of the week we will move up to breakfast and dinner b eing replaced, the only meal I need to eat is lunch at work :).

ok back to cooking <3

Don't you just love making beautiful things?

Here is my very first Practice Piece on my Embroidery machine!

So if you read through my last post, you know that my machine sews like a DREAM! Well Guess what? It embroiders like a dream too <3 Have to make sure to put the bobbin in correctly, but luckily, the bobbin case comes off easily with the removal of only two screws, allowing you to fix the really really bad big huge mess inside it with ease... >.>. Also in case you are wondering, this is 4 separate patterns, I could have just put the "And" symbol in with the E and the S but I'm not sure I could have made it small and the other two big. :) So the Heart is one pattern, the ES is another, the "And" is another and the Cherub is another :)

Anywho, after I figured it out, it worked amazing! You can probably see on the lower left hand side of the heart the fabric is ripped, that's because I had to cut it off of my feed dogs... yep I embroidered the fabric TO the machine! And that's after I read the instructions for a week, watched tutorials on line, and popped inthe disc, JUST to make sure I wouldn't mess up. :P All I can really say is that it was my first time, I'm still very very happy with my sucess, and I think that I will be embroidering many many things in the future! Starting this weekend with TOWELS FOR MY HOUSE YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight after I make them myself... :D

That's right I am going to make my own towels, and then Embroider them! ( You just need a coupon for Joanns, go grab your favorite color of Terry cloth, and a Serger , and you are good to go!)

So yes, I am going to make towels, see how I like it, and if I like it enough then we will never buy towels again, not for wedding gifts, OR for us :D Because no joke, I love big soft fluffy towels, it's just hard to find them in my size :P.

Anywhoodles, I"m off to possibly doze on the couch, took a half day today.

Hope everyone has an incredible night day whatever it is for you <3.

scrappy purse and card holder insert

So I busted out my new sewing machine, and my scraps ( known in my world as a *stash* one day I will show you me full stash its almost frightening how many scraps I have LOL) and I got busy today! The scrappy bug just hit me, and I made a new purse ( still needs to be lined, and have straps added, but I wanted to share the pretty colors)

I just saw the scraps, and in my head I saw what they could be and I sat down and did it :).

In the course of using the new machine I got to absolutely Squeeeeeeee over the amazing features undid not even know the machine had! Like when I was nearly done with the bag, the machine beeped and let me know my bobbing thread was running low!!! How amazing is that? One of my least favorite things , is not realizing my bobbing is empty LOL.

And the automatic needle threaded is amazing!!!!! And the automatic thread cutter leaves so much less wasted thread! I love this machine, no joke. It area like a DREAM my older model brother sewing machine was loud, and tempermental ( but well loved, I adored that machine and was sad to give it away). This machine hardly makes any noise, when you turn it on the needles move into place with a loud clink, but that's in the manual as normal, so far that is the only loud part on the machine. I cannot reccommend this baby enough!

Edit:

Ps : In case you are wondering, these are 4 fabrics, the three super bright ones were all puchased at the same time from Joanns, I used them in a gorgeous little quilt I made for my friend Crystal. :) The lighter one with flowers was just in a box of free fabric I found on Craigslist :D

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oh today is pain filled!

Ugh I hurt, sooooo bad today my back is killin gme, my uterus is prepping for some sort of olympic games for strongest muscle ever and cramping like you would not believe, and I just don't feel good.

BUT! I've decided I need to declutter, I'm not going to get rid of my yarn or my fabric or my books, but I have excess furniture! So sent an email to my team and am getting 15 bucks for a desk and chair, and this weekend I am just going to spend time going through what I have and make the decision on whether or not to keep it. I need to pare down on what I have in my home, because all this clutter is about to drive me INSANE.

Anyways, have a great weekend all! I will when it starts in... 3 hours :)

HOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDIIIIIIEEEEEE

I am going to make my OWN hoodie!!! I found the BEST tutorial the person who wrote it is speaking my language :D ( all tutorials are written for different people, this one was written for me! :P)

http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=8f9fc8m97hbtkhjdfl8102lr45&topic=100217.0

That's the link for the Tutorial incase you'd like to do it too :)

Just have to wait for Payday so that I can go out and find a huge shirt with a design that I Heart!

Hope everyone hase a beautiful and blessed day!

Been Watching more Youtube Videos about the Surgery !!! *Heart*

That's the latest video I've watched, and I LOVE HER!! she's just so great! It's nice to see people going through the same things I am going to be going through soon :D.

Yep yep yep I have a Vlog too incase you are wondering, you can visit it here : http://www.youtube.com/user/Bellanoctumn?feature=mhee

Been a heckuva day!

Sometimes I wonder about people. And those wonderings are not nice :(. I need to correct my tude! When it's my time of the month I am a TOTAL mean girl.... my only excuse is that I"m miserable, but that shouldn't be enough of a reason to think the thoughts I do! Must Correct! lol

Today was a hard day, I was drained and my customers were mostly snarky bratty butts. BUTTTTTTT I still made it through :).

Eugene did not have a great day today either, poor guy, he had some tough customers too! Today was hard for a lot of people. He forgot his lunch too! :( So when I got off of work I drove home, picked up his lunch, drove back to work heated it up and set it on his desk ( he was in a meeting). I hope that having some home cooked Lasagna will help his day get better! He needs it!

I am going to make some Brownies for the team Potluck tomorrow, because honestly I'm too tired, and too broke to make anything healthy lol. Besides, my Brownies were specifically requested. :D

I realized today, as I was investigating a scam and following the money trail that one thing I would ADORE doing is Auditing... I know I'm a total freak, but I love love love following the money trail!

Anywhoodles, I'm tired, and rambling, pain meds are working... HAve a wonderful day everyone! <3

~Sarah~!

Various and Sundry thoughts and rambles

So I kicked butt at work tonight, Getting 96 issues done, some of you will understand what an extraordinary night this was for me :) Getting that many issues done is HARD and rewarding!

Sadly though I am on my period, I never like my periods because they tend to last a LONG time, like weeks. And it's painful and gross. My uterus is made of freaking steal though, strongest muscle in my body LOL.

I came home today and realized that my kitchen was trashed, it was all nice and shiny clean on new years eve, but making baklava and other things in there... well you'd probably be shocked by how many dishes two people can use! It's nuts! And I am tired, but I decided that my Husband deserved to come home to a clean Kitchen. he deserves to come home to a clean house too, but lets not get crazy ;). So I"m doing the dishes ( First load is in the dishwasher, I'll load another after it's done, clean the counters and stove and get my booty to bed, where it belongs this time of the month!)

I am sad that I still have not used my Embroidery machine, but to be honest I have just not had the energy to mess with it.

I'm watching the news, and there are some seriously ORANGE men on there... running for the Iowa Caucus or whatever it's called. One thing I will say about this years Campaigning, it's not turning out the way anyone thought it would!

( I'm going to vote for Ron Paul, hate all you want, I think Marijuana should be legalized and TAXED TO DEATH, all these drug dealers are making 120 for an eighth of the good stuff, WHY isn't the government in on this?)

I wish there were more hours in the day, so that I could keep the house spic n span, and work, and still get sleep, and have some me time to sit at my sewing machine, *sigh*

Oh I went and checked out my credit report ( Freecreditreport.com) and my score is actually 587, and I have about 4.5k in debt that I need to pay off this year, since the car is paid off that will be INCREDIBLY easy, I am going to pay off the smaller debts first, then move on to the bigger ones. Mainly just want to get it under control. I'm leaving all the medical debt for last ( that's only about 1300) and paying off everything else as soon as I can. I thought I was in a lot more debt than this, so I'm totally happy with the amount! after I pay off all my debt, my credit score will improve DRASTICALLY then I can look into getting a credit card or two and building it right back up, getting loans from the bank and paying them back over time as well. Since my Surgery means that I can't get pregnant for 18 months ( after surgery) I plan to use every one of those months to get Eugene and I Fiscally Solvent, and ready to purchase a house and settle in to start our family!!

I called Charles Schwab today and have an appointment to speak with a financial advisor on February 6th to start my 401k, So I am seriously planning for my future. I want to be able to retire at 65 with enough money to see Eugene and I through comfortably. And if I'm going to do that I need to start now! I know I'm only 23, but in one month I will be 24, and this is the rest of my life I'm planning here. I got to have my stupid years, luckily I was in the sheltering arms of an amazing man during that time, now I have to put aside my stupidity, and become a true helpmate for Eugene. I have to take on the role of Woman of the house, and take it seriously, this isn't play. If I want him to live for a good long time I have to make life as stress free as possible :D So I am! <3

Anyways, this was a lot of chit chat, but hey,. it's my diary, that's what it's here for.

<3

~Sarah

hehehe My scale is broken, but I sure like those numbers!

So when I woke up this afternoon I stepped on my scale, as I do randomly throughout the week ( I know camping the scale is bad, I can't help it) and it said 235!!!! LOL!! since last time I checked I was 296, I found that hard to believe :P But man that number sure was nice!!

Beware Below this point is total honesty and talk about poop and vomit... skip it if you can't handle that!

Came home today to a sick puppy :( She had gotten sick all over the floor in the dining room, she almost knocked me over in her wild dash out of the door to finish what she'd started. I don't think it's possible for her to have anything left inside after how much she left outside and on my carpet. But I'm keeping an eye on her just in case. I do not want a repeat, Threw up 3 times while cleaning it up. *Shudder* Hate hate hate cleaning up any sort of poop, or vomit.... I'll do it, but I have an EXTREMELY sensitive nose, and even when I close off my nostrils ( Idk why I can do that, but almost all the people in my maternal family can) I can still feel that the air with the poop smell is thicker than regular air, and then the vomit ensues. Awful. *Shudder*

At work today I broke my own goal by 14! I only wanted to get 50, and manged to get 64 ( that's really good in case you are wondering lol) But my last ticket took the cake on the day! It was the BEST ticket I could have gotten to end a stressful monday back from a three day weekend! All I have to say about that, is good riddance! Due to my NDA I can't tell you what the petition was about, but I can tell you it was sick. I enjoyed applying that action.

I'm getting extremely sleepy, so I'm going to get off teh blog and watch some tv while I make sure the dog isn't going to have to go again.

Good night Bloggers, Living out loud is nice <3 I feel good being able to talk honestly about dog poop and bad days ^0^

It's officially January 2nd 2012.... Wow..

THIS IS MY YEAR TO LIVE OUTLOUD

So do you all remember how when you were a kid time seemed to absolutely CRAWL bye? And now... well now that I'm an adult and have responsibilities, and BILLS and DEBT and a credit score of.... 396 ( OMFG I JUST SAID THAT ON THE INTERNET), Now it flies by. Paycheck by paycheck, the bills keep coming, and the debt does get smaller, but the time... the time goes by quicker and quicker it seems.

In February I will be 24, I have this Credit score because I was a VERY stupid 18 year old who though plastic meant free money. But regardless of this mountain of personal debt, I have successfully paid off a car 10 months early, and I have a plan. :D Now to my New Years resolutions.

I resolve to:

Laugh like no one can hear me

Love like I'm going to die any moment

Live out loud, this means to live truthfully, with myself and others, to OWN my body, it's mine, I made it this way, I'm working to make it smaller, it's a process. I plan to grow Spiritually, this is what Living out loud means!

Eat Healthily more often than not.

Give up Diet Dr.Pepper( my poison)

pay off my debt.

So this payday I didn't put anything towards debt, it was the last payday in 2011, and I wasn't strong enough to kiss it good bye! :P But for the rest of this year, Every payday after Groceries and gas and bills, I will be paying off my debt! About 350 bucks at a time... so 700 dollars a month will be going towards Debt decrease, plus of course, all of my tax return, and my spring bonus ( if we get one) and my next Christmas Bonus. EVERYTHING that I would normally fritter away on useless things, I will happily put towards debt, to get my Credit Score repaired as soon as possible. So that I can get a loan for a house! Because my Ultimate reason to get out of all the debt I'm in now, is to get into a 30 year commitment of debt ;).

Now you are probably wondering why in the world I would get down and dirty with my numbers like that! the reason for it is because I want to be truthful. And Truthfully, I was a dumb ass teenager who didn't know what the hell she was doing when she got her first plastic, and it's biting me in the ass so hard it might actually take a chunk.

But I will pay it off, this year... It will be done! <3 Have a beautiful new year everyone! Hope your Resolutions are just as attainable as mine!