The bleeding has mostly stopped, I don't find it every time I go to the bathroom now, and that's amazingly good Karma IMO.
As you know if you read my last post, the dr thinks I am ( Or at least was) pregnant, and I don't know if it was hearing that, that did this, or if it's real pregnancy symptoms * The mind is terribly strong you know* but I have been getting sick to my stomach alot lately. Juice peaces and frozen grapes is pretty much all I can get down without feeling like I wast to puke. But that didn't start happening til after the whole, " In my professional opinion" words were uttered thing.. the emotional ninjas though, that was happening well before I got that news. I have had bouts of crying for no reason, intense rage, sensitivity, and all that crap for the last three weeks. I've been trying to keep it all together, but I feel like I"m falling apart.
I don't take a pregnancy test until September 27th, and I hope it's positive, but getting my hopes up is the WORST POSSIBLE IDEA EVER. I know that, and I know that with how I am, it's even worse than the worst possible idea ever. it's a terrible idea, HORRIBLE IDEA. just a bad idea... but I can't help but hope for it. I want it so badly, i dream about it every damn time I sleep. Me waking up to feed the baby, or me picking my son up from school and being so proud of his yellow star sticker. Me kissing his bobos.... I am so hopeless when it comes to not getting my hopes up it's not even funny.
it's day 14 of my cycle, and I'm a mess. an absolute terrible mess. I have so much to be happy and thankful for! SO MUCH!
So I'm going to try to focus on that,
later
i know exactly how you feel... getting your hopes up is a sure way to set yourself up for disappointment, but when it really does happen you'll be SO Happy! I'm here for you whenever you need me. we'll get thru this, even if we have to scrap ourselves up & stitch each other back together before we our dreams come true.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Thanks honey That means so much to me! I'm here for you as well, I have a needle and yarn at the ready! <3
ReplyDeleteI figure we can crochet a few hearts to pin on our shirts in place of the ones that will get ripped out ans shredded until our dreams do come true <3
I hate to get worked up and it is so hard not to. Just keep in mind, it could also be the placebo effect... thinking yourself sick or pregnant does encourage your body to start mimicking those responses. I want you to be safe and healthy. Stressing out and getting worried or anxious can do tricky things. Both of you just breathe deep and live. All things happen in time. And if you cry, you cry to get all that built up stuff out. We will be there with a hug and a push to get back up again. <3
ReplyDelete